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| .....Engineers Explain Love and Dating: Written By Sticks |
Written 1-28-07
...with a chart that follows.
A bit ago, I was trying to explain to one of my friends how I felt about women I date and trying to describe my basic formula. I think I came off a bit too harsh as she said something along the lines of, "Wow, I never knew you were like that." And we've known each other for about five years. Anyways.
My rudimentary system for determining how much I like a girl go something like this. There's two main categories just like the picture details: mental (Platonic) and physical (attractiveness). Except it's a bar with mental on one side and physical on the other side. It helps to think of it like a number line, -10 on the left and 10 on the right. On that bar, there is a single point, like a slider. That point represents where the female in question resides according to where you judge her on the afforementioned characteristics. There is a problem with this model which I'll address later, but for now it works to get the idea across.
Let's say you meet a girl. You think she's pretty attractive but after talking to her for awhile, you realize she's not your type or she's kinda dumb. Thus, the slider would be closer to the physical side than the mental side. As another example, say a friend brings along a female friend to hang out. You find that you can talk about just about anything but damn, she's uglier than a truck. In that case, her slider would be closer to the mental side.
The problem comes when you meet women that violate this rule and are either both really ugly and untalkable or really attractive and are able to connect to you on a Platonic level. Putting the bar right in the middle would mean that they are of average mental and physical compatibility, which is not true. The chart takes care of that by turning it into a 2D graph. Kudos, engineer, kudos.
To (hopefully) most of you, this doesn't seem weird. Look at your mate and try and tell me that you - in your head the first few times you met them - did not use anything like I've just mentioned. You can tell me that you didn't but then I'll tell you that you're full of shit.
But you can still understand where I'm coming from. You can't break down human relations any further than that. There's the physical and the mental. That's it. It's all humans have left to go on.
And no, I don't feel bad about not liking people because they are not attractive to me. Just remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I may find a woman that's 30 pounds overweight incredibly attractive while you think she's ugly. You may think the infinitely cute, skinny - but lazy-eyed - brunette waitress at your local Denny's is the bomb while I think it'd be like fucking a pillowcase full of hangers and wondering which eye to look at when I'm trying to talk to her about something half-way interesting but out of her grasp; like the architectural history of Downtown Detroit.
Looks like Kate Moss... but not as drugged out.
To the women (and yes, it's always women, it's never men complaining about this) that bitch about only the hot chicks getting attention: hey, thanks for the insight, Mrs. Obvious! Listen, like I said, everyone has different standards. Most pigs, er men, may like to oggle the skinny bitches with their fake-tans and thongs sticking out of their low-cut jeans but that's most men. Realize there's still others out there and that not everyone's taste is the same. I may like to oggle certain women, but chances are, I wouldn't want to come home with them. Lots of model-like chicks are HORRID in bed. And dumber than the headboard I use to tie up my mistress.
Point is, it's evolution baby! Can we help it if we've been bred and grown to like women with big (milk giving) tits and wide (child-bearing) hips and radiant (healthy and well balanced diet) skin? No, its tens of thousands of fucking years (literally, fucking, as in, sex) and thousands more lifetimes of survival of the fittest.
So when I say that I prefer someone that looks good to me, don't think I'm a bastard just because looks factor into things. They factor into the equation because they have made us who we are today. And say hi to that waitress for me when you see her later on tonight. She really likes her hair pulled, in case you didn't know. Punk.
Sticks
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