.
| Link to Us |
 |
|
.
| .....MX Behind The Music - Unknown Artist: Written By Marion and Jew |
Written 1-31-07
Marion: So it's been about a week and a half since our last article and I've again spent that whole time sick, had 'net troubles, and to top it all off, couldn't get the torrent of our next CD review to finish downloading. All said, it looked like I wasn't gonna have an article this week until, while scouring my 9,000+ mp3s to make a CD for the girlfriend's birthday, I saw something that caught my eye. At the sight of this, I instantly conferred with the Jew and we were well on our way to creating what could well be a masterpiece, showcasing one of the greatest artists of our time...Unknown Artist. That's right, today's review will highlight the material of that brilliant lyricist Unknown Artist, and his 13 song greatest hits album, so prepare yourself. It's gonna be an incredible journey through genres, vocal styles, and even languages. We now present you Unknown Artist - Unknown Album.
And you thought we were making Unknown Artist up.
Jew: Unknown artist is a pretty mysterious guy. He goes to great lengths to keep his identity a secret. There are no pictures of him anywhere, he almost never does any live performances, public appearances, or even interviews. Some people may be saying to themselves "A guy like this must have something to hide," and while digging through my junk I came across his greatest hits CD, "Unknown Album." It really trudged up a lot of old memories. Some painful, some wonderful. I decided to sit with Marion and get the facts straight.
Unknown's album is actually more awesome than this!
Samples of the songs have been provided. A link to the full album will follow at the end.
All Over Me And You
Marion: The album starts off with a steady drum lead-in. Then a couple electric guitar riffs kick in. This album's got my interest already, which is more than I can say for the My Chemical Romance album. It's got a familiar sound, although I can't put my finger on just who Unknown reminds me of here. I'm sure anyone I can think of won't be able to do him justice anyway, so we'll just say he sounds like Unknown Artist here. It's a kinda brooding song, which picks up at the chorus, although I'm still not sure what it's about. I keep getting distracted and focusing on other things, and unfortunately Google isn't much help when looking for Unknown's work. They're obviously trying to hold him down.
Jew: Unknown Artist doesn't say much about his past, so I don't know much about his early days, but I do know that his first major musical venture was vocalist for a band who would later come to be known as Bush. Eventually relations with the band went sour, as the band wanted to get paid, at any cost, and Artist just wanted to make good music. Eventually he left and was replaced by longtime rival Gavin Rosdale.
Forget The Day
Jew: Shortly after, Bush went on to release "Sixteen Stone" to great acclaim, and Unknown Artist started his own project: a band known as Project CITIZEN. Lacking the money or resources that he had during his run with Bush, the recordings were very rough, making Unknown's voice sound very young. This is something that Unknown would experiment with again before the end of his career. The band's single, "Forget the Day" was an ode to Artist's times with his former band.
Marion: Here, Unknown returns to his pre-stardom punk / pop-punk roots with a fast number about forgetting the day. What day? Groundhog's day? President's Day? Valentine's Day? D-Day? He wants us to forget about all those brave men that fought at Normandy? What an asshole. We shall never forget!
They're sad because they never got to see Unknown Artist perform live.
I Wanna Be A Millionaire
Marion: Unknown hops genres again, this time going with something reminiscent of Chris Isaak or Morrisey or something, a song about wanting to be a millionaire. First he wants us to forget D-Day, and now he just cares about money. What happened to doing it for the love of the music, dick? This album is quickly making me lose the respect I once had for Unknown Artist.
Jew: Artist was hitting hard times. Bills were due, jobs weren't paying enough, and it really showed in his work. "I want to be a millionare" was Unknown's way of coping with the frustration of wanting to make good music, but also wanting to make enough to support himself. Unknown artist put all of his effort into the band, hoping that it would pay off eventually. He would often tell me later that he sometimes wonders if he should have just gotten a job and given up his childhood dreams of music, like most people do.
It's Alright
Marion: This next track is one of Unknown's earlier recorded works, originally taped in small bar somewhere Philly, where Unknown would often perform to make enough to pay his rent. Unknown displays some of his youthful arrogance on this one, asking to be called a super man. It's this arrogance that would cost him later in his career, both professionally and in his personal relationships.
Jew: "It's Alright" was one of Unknown Artist's more candid works in his early days. Drunk at a bar, he kind of pulled this one out of nowhere during an open mic, to great accord. Although it doesn't quite stack up to some of his later works, it's an interesting look at what he can do with twenty minutes of prep time.
She'll Still Cry Tonight
Jew: "She'll Still Cry Tonight" was a song that Unknown and his lover (at the time), Gwen Stefani wrote together. It was an ode to their often rocky relationship. Things went for the worst with this song, however, as it forced Artist and Project CITIZEN to part ways. Shortly after artist was replaced, Gwen left him for Gavin Rosdale.
Marion: Not many people know that Unknown Artist was very good friends with the band Blink 182. He was so close with the guys that he wrote this one in similar style to some of the music Blink was putting out at the time. Even though it was intended to be in tribute, Tom was furious, which caused great tension in the band. Mark and Travis would eventually cite this song's release as the point at which Tom became too much to put up with, thus making Unknown Artist indirectly responsible for the breakup of Blink 182. The guilt from breaking them up, along with his relationship problems led him to start making bad career choices. Bad choices such as the following song...
No, not this bad.
The Hamster Dance (Remix)
Marion: After the breakup, both of them, Artist took to heavy drinking. There was hardly a waking moment you could find him sober. Around the same time, the record company Unknown was signed with was looking to revitalize the old internet sensation, The Hamster Dance. They approached him with the concept of updating the song to appeal to all the little raver fags with their shitty techno, pacifiers, and fake ecstacy. Coked out of his mind and drunk off half a bottle of rubbing alcohol, Unknown agreed, in what would become one of the lowest points in his career. It flopped, and left him hated, homeless, and hopeless...
Unknown was shot 10 times. Top that, pussy.
Unknown Song
Jew: Following his controversial remix of "The Hamster Dance" Unknown Artist had officially hit rock bottom. The only work he could find was with Metallica, and reluctantly, he accepted. This is when he wrote "Unknown Song" which would later be called his "comeback masterpiece." Back on the map, Metallica took the world by storm, but Unknown felt that he wasn't receiving the credit he deserved. He was the mastermind behind quite a few of the band's greatest songs, even if he did not pick up an instrument and participate directly. Artist often said he was the only thing keeping the band together, and stopping them from making some terrible choices, such as trashcan drums.
Whiskey In The Jar
Jew: Always one to broaden his horizons, Unknown Artist created "Whiskey in the Jar," but it was later drastically changed by the band, leading to friction that eventually led to Artist leaving Metallica on very bad terms. Lars Ulrich later said in an interview, "We feel that we can really explore the kind of music that we want to make now. We aren't restricted by Unknown Artist's ideas of what good music should sound like." An almost sober James Hetfield had only to say "I'm madly in anger with him."
Marion: Oddly enough, this song was about the bitter divorce between Unknown's mother and father when he was just a boy. His father ended up being killed in knife fight with Unknown's mother. On his deathbed, Unknown's father made him make a promise to one day write this song to honor his father and bring awareness to the problem of domestic violence. Needless to say, Unknown was still kinda high when he actually got around to writing the song.
Wonder Picket Fence
Jew: While promoting his solo acoustic project, Unknown performed "Wonder Picket Fence" for a local radio show. Oasis later stole the song and renamed it "wonderwall." Following a long and painful legal battle, the courts deemed that Oasis had the rights to the song, and Unknown Artist was shit out of luck. It seemed that no matter what Unknown Artist did in life, he just couldn't get a bone. He often felt like he would be like this forever.
Marion: This was a very personal song to Unknown, and losing it to Oasis really broke him up. Wanting to get away from all the backstabbing and politics of the music industry and being a star, Unknown packed up his things and left L.A. without saying a word to anyone. For awhile, people wondered what happened to the once great musician. Had he been eaten alive by a bear? Had he eaten a bear alive? Did he ever really exist or was he just an illusion created by our deepest desires and hopes?
What the fuck? Of course he existed. How fucking stupid are you?
Jew: As it turned out, Unknown Artist had been visiting Whitney Houston in prison, and one day when everything seemed hopeless, he went to her and she told him why she was in prison. Whitney Houston was in prison for murdering her husband. She told Artist that she never wanted to see him again, and if he ever showed up around her again, it would be the last thing he ever did. Broken up, confused, and with nothing to lose, Artist left his old life behind and ran.
Marion: Eventually, word came that there was a new, breakout star in the Land Of The Rising Sun. Unknown had left America and found work in Japan, as so many once-great American celebrities often do.
Jamie
Marion: So once again down on his luck, Unknown fled to Japan, where he took time to reflect, get back to basics, and clear his head. He began to miss what he had with Gwen, and began writing a song about how he felt when he was with her. Since he was living in Japan now, he started writing everything in Japanese, which turned out to be pretty stupid, since he had to have the songs translated back into English before recording them anyway. Since he didn't have a lot of money, he ended up having them translated by the bum that lived out behind the local Gamestop. He smelled kinda funny, and slept on an old couch with a Timesplitters cardboard cutout that had a hole where the mouth used to be, but he was an otherwise alright guy. Unfortunately, his Japanese was horrible. Because of this poor translation, his heartfelt song about Gwen became an obsessive song about a girl named Jamie. I still don't get why he didn't fix it before recording it. Man, Unknown was kinda fucking stupid.
The bum later found work doing movie translation.
Smile
Marion: He continued writing songs in Japanese and having the bum translate them. This was originally a war anthem, lamenting the attacks by Godzilla on various parts of Japan. No one had the heart to tell him Godzilla was a movie character.
CBright believes in me
Why Bother?
Marion: Eventually, even life in Japan began to take its toll on Unknown. He became depressed, and began to wonder what the point in trying was. This, and a case of sake, inspired his next hit, "Why Bother?" Unfortunately, as it usually goes with Unknown Artist, the success and happiness brought on by the popularity of the song didn't last long. While on tour in Japan, the guys from Weezer managed to catch an Unknown Artist performance, and quite liked what they saw. A little too much. As soon as they got back to America, they began recording a batch of "new" songs. Among those were the three songs Unknown worked on while in Japan. Because no one outside of Japan had ever heard them, Weezer was able to pass them off as their own. The songs garnered tons of praise for the band throughout the music industry.
Eventually Unknown found out about these songs while browsing the import rack at his local music store. Even leaving America, he couldn't keep his songs from being stolen. He soon spiralled out of control, further and further into insanity, finally culminating in the development of multiple personalities. Once more, all looked hopeless for Unknown Artist...
Perfect Day
Jew: It was obvious that there was nothing that Unknown Artist could do. Even travelling halfway across the world couldn't keep him safe from music piracy. Artist became very disturbed after this, and began developing multiple personalities. He kept insisting that people refer to him as "The Willing Writer" and told people that he spoke to a spirit named "Tenspeed" who manifested itself as a bicycle.
It was around this time that he began what he considered to be his grand opus. He put the next fifteen years of his life into this one grand opera, that would be a tribute to all of the people who were atomized during the bombing of Hiroshima (much to the dismay of Sydlexia.com forumer Black Zarak.) Nobody knows why he chose to honor an event that happened so long ago, and had nothing to do with him.
Aside from writing the entire song, Artist played every single instrument by himself, as well as singing each part in one of his many different alter egos.
Some would call this the ravings of a mad man, others would say it's the culmination of everything that he had become and ever was, but to Lou Reed, it was an opportunity.
Marion: This one was a challenge for Unknown. It took everything he had in him, every ounce of perseverance, every personality brewing in that whacked-out, bat-shit crazy head of his to pull this one off. Unknown was determined to make it happen though, and vowed to make it his true masterpiece, assuming this one was so damn ridiculous that no one would be able to steal it. Honestly, how the hell could any band possibly pull off such an elaborate song with such a huge list of singers? Well, any band aside from maybe The Polyphonic Spree, but they're like a cult or something, which puts stealing from Unknown Artist pretty low on their list of priorities. Unfortunately for Unknown, it wasn't a band that would steal this one.
It's reported that Lou Reed uttered a "Fuck it, if Unknown Artist can do it, I'll sing the whole fuckin' thing too!" and then rushed off to the studio to record it. Strangely, Lou didn't even attempt to use different voices. When asked why, he proceeded to swear and attack the interviewer, pointing out that he'd used 103 distinct voices in the song. Obviously Unknown wasn't alone in being fucking insane.
Lou wasn't so happy when The Wiggles stole Walk On The Wild Side.
Jew: There was just nothing that Unknown could do do get away from music piracy. It was as if some unforseen force was working behind the scenes to make sure he couldn't get anywhere in life. Shortly after Lou Reed released "Transformer," Unknown Artist was seen climbing the set during the MTV video Music Awards (a scheme that would later be ripped off by a member of Rage Against The Machine.) Drunk and shouting obsceneties, Artist was arrested.
The courts declared that if Unknown Artists didn't want jail time, he would have to go to rehab. It was at one of these sessions that he met future ex wife Courtney Love. Details are a little foggy here, but shortly after his divorce Unknown was found dead in his bathroom, shotgun in hand...
Marion: Yet another promising musical career cut short by the ruthless music industry. Unknown died as he lived; being stole from. That prick Kurt Cobain not only stole one of Unknown's baby pictures for the "Nevermind" album cover, he also stole Artist's death, shooting himself in the head with a shotgun because he realized he was married to Courtney Love.
If you ever come across a copy of his amazing greatest hits album, I recommend picking it up. Unknown paints an incredible picture, bringing you into his world of heartbreak, betrayal, and bitterness. Perhaps the world just wasn't ready for a genius of Unknown's caliber...
If you'd like to download the full album, including cover art, just follow this link. And while you're there, don't forget to check out the rest of THI.
Marion and The Flyin' Jew
|
|
|
